My Soldier
by matkashi
Summary: Devotion is a funny thing. Kouyou’s devotion to his brother, Takanori, is what compels him—drives him forward to survive in this war—but it’s the devotion of his childhood friend, Yuu... Aoi/Uruha Yuu/Kouyou the gazette


Title: My Soldier  
Author: **Mat (matkashi)**  
Chapter(s): oneshot  
Disclaimer: They aren't mine and I get no money. I'm poor and alone. Oh, the misery  
Rating: NC-17  
Genre: War/Drama/Tragedy/Romance/AU  
Warnings: Non-graphic sex, violence, gore, character death  
Pairings: Aoi/Uruha

Summary: _**Devotion is a funny thing. Kouyou's devotion to his brother, Takanori, is what compels him—drives him forward to survive in this war—but it's the devotion of his childhood friend, Yuu, that allows him and his brother to survive. And it is with those two devotions that they might finally escape. The bombs, the guns, the blood, the war—they might finally escape.**_

_**That devotion is worth fighting for.**_

-

"Shh," Kouyou hushed his little brother desperately, putting his fingers to his lips in an effort to calm the fearful, ragged breathing that would give their hiding place away.

Takanori shook violently against him, tears streaming down his face as he clung to his elder brother in the depths of the darkened cupboard, praying that the men walking into the house would not hear them—would not open the cupboard doors and see them there.

Their parents had pushed them into the cupboard when they saw the car arrive at their doorstep. Their father had found the shotgun and their mother had refused to leave, forcing the two boys to watch their parents stand by the kitchen table as the hurried, heavy footsteps of soldiers clambered into the house and up the stairs.

Kouyou held his brother tighter, clutching at his shoulders as he silently begged the eight year-old to be silent. He had to be silent. If the soldiers heard them, it was over. Their family was one with the rebellion, fighting against the reign of General Suzuki. One by one, the families of the rebellion wee being tracked down; hunted like dogs and left bleeding in the streets to be made example of.

Kouyou and Takanori's family was next.

Kouyou wasn't even meant to be here. He was weeks away from enlisting into the army to fight the enemy soldiers coming in from all sides. But he was too young. He wasn't eighteen for another three weeks. He had intended to enlist as soon as he came of age, but now that wasn't an option. Now all he could do was put his hand over his brother's eyes as soldier entered the kitchen and his father fired off a shot at one of them, hitting him in the gut.

Kouyou wanted to turn away from what happened next. He didn't want to see it, but his eyes remained open and unblinking, staring on as the soldiers shot at his parents with a reckless abandon. Beyond death, they continued to shoot, ruining the bodies in a heinous way that made Kouyou want to scream and shout for them to stop. To please just _stop_.

But he didn't make a sound. No noise escaped his lips, pressed tightly together as he brother whimpered under the sound of gunfire and shook harder in his arms. Kouyou forced himself to look away from the mess and stroke Takanori's hair gently.

The gunfire ceased—a pure waste of bullets and arrogance—and there were footsteps echoing around the hollowed wood floor. A boot stopped right beside the crack of the cupboard and Kouyou froze, staring at it with wide eyes for what seemed an unbearable amount of time.

And then the soldiers were leaving, pulling away in their car and laughing to one another as though this had been some fun sort of game. Kouyou wanted to throw up.

"Close your eyes and don't open them until I say," he whispered gently to his brother. "Understand?"

Takanori nodded against his shoulder, his tearful eyes soaking the cloth of Kouyou's shirt. With a deep breath, he pushed open the cupboard door and picked Takanori up into his arms, checking to make sure his eyes were closed. Takanori had shut them tightly, clinging his arms around Kouyou's neck and burying his face into his shoulder.

Kouyou forced himself not to look at the massacred bodies of his parents or the gutted out body of the soldier a few feet away. He hurried down the hall to their room and sat his little brother on the bed, quickly grabbing a backpack and shoving clothes into it.

"Stay here," he ordered, and Takanori sniffled and nodded, grasping the bedcovers in his small hands.

He went back out to the kitchen and dry-heaved when he saw his parent's bodies, strew across the floor and soaking blood into the wood. With a twisting gut, he pulled open the cupboard and put some food into the back, turning toward the fallen soldier and kneeling beside him. With some hesitance, he grabbed the man's handgun and the dagger sheathed on his thigh. Carefully, he put them in the bag as well and closed it up.

Slinging it over his shoulder, he rushed back to the bedroom and picked Takanori up again, resting him on his hip. "Close your eyes for me again okay?" Takanori bit his lip and pressed his face against Kouyou's neck. Without a word, Kouyou stole back through the house and out the back door, heading for the military base on the edge of the city

It was there that he hoped to find his high school best friend, Yuu, who was a year older than him and had enlisted into the army months ago. Kouyou could think of no one else to go to. He had no family, all his friends were dead, and the places that rebels could seek refuge were dying out. Japan was a withering nation, slowly decaying under the new rule and becoming a place barren of all hope.

The only chance was to get out of Japan and to the United States, but there was no way he was going to be able to pull that off without military aid. Most ways out were blocked off by enemy soldiers now. The airways, the water ways, everything; it was all guarded. Anyone who tried to make it out of Japan without the permission and grant of Suzuki's army were killed.

But Kouyou had to try. He knew he couldn't keep his brother here any longer. He had to get out and give him a chance at a good life, even if Kouyou's loyalty remained with his country. Even if he wanted to stay and fight, he knew that Takanori came first. He had to get Takanori out of Japan no matter what.

….

They were hiding in an abandoned building, dried out and soaked through with blood and mold. They were so close to the city they could hear the echoing gunshots clear as day through the broken windows and practically smell the blood of their dying people as it ran onto the streets.

It had been three days since their parents had been murdered and their sparse food supply was running low. Kouyou didn't dare sneak into the city for fear of the soldiers that flooded it and all the houses they had passed by had already been scavenged and picked clean. Kouyou knew that he would have to hurry their pace to the base or Takanori would fall ill. His brother had always been the delicate sort and he was already growing weaker.

Kouyou couldn't blame him. He had been pushing the child far too hard, making him walked over the deserted rubble of places people used to live for hours on end. They barely slept or rested, only stopping when the need to breath or hide was too strong to deny.

"Kouyou," Takanori muttered. "I miss mom and dad."

The blond grimaced and pulled his brother closer to his side. "I miss them too."

"Do you think we'll see them soon?"

Kouyou winced and kissed the top of Takanori's head. "No, we aren't going to see them for a long time, but I promise we'll see them again one day, okay?"

Takanori let out a barely audible sigh. Perhaps he was just too weak to sigh properly. "You're not going to leave me, right Kouyou?"

Kouyou shook his head softly. "Never. I'll always protect you."

"You're stronger than the bad guys," Takanori mumbled against Kouyou's shirt. "They won't be able to hurt my big brother."

Kouyou managed to force a small smile. "You're right. We can both beat them. They won't get us. And we're going to see Yuu soon. Remember him? He's going to help us go somewhere nice—where there are no bad guys."

"I liked Yuu," Takanori whispered. Kouyou could tell he was falling asleep. "He was always really nice to me. He brought me soda."

"He's nice to everyone," Kouyou replied softly, rubbing Takanori's arm to keep him warm in the cold, dank air of the building. "He's going to help us."

Kouyou sat there as Takanori slept against him, staring out the broken window and into the distance that held the city. He forced himself not to jump every time he heard another round of gunshots go off in the distance. He stopped himself from trembling when he felt the earth shake from small bombs peppering the city and wiping out dozens at a time.

He stayed perfectly still so her wouldn't wake the small boy resting against his chest.

And then two hours later, they set off again.

….

It was on the sixth day that they reached the camp. The guards at the gate refused to let them in.

"We can't allow refugees into the camp."

Kouyou held his brother's hand tightly as he looked at the guard helplessly. "But please, we know someone here," he begged. "We've been walking for almost a week. We have no food, no—"

"Listen kid," the man growled. "We let you in, then we gotta let 'em all in. We can't accept refugees, period. We don't need hundreds of people storming the gates because I let two brats past the line. I'm sorry, kid, but you can't come in. Please leave."

Kouyou stared over at the barbed wire fence, throat moments away from giving out a frustrated whimper. He felt so weak and tired. He hadn't eaten in two days so that Takanori could have the rest of the food. He was starting to regret not taking more form the house when they left. "Please, Yuu Shiroyama, we know him. If Yuu Shiroyama is here he'll vouch for us."

The man scowled, looking annoyed. "No means no. Beat it."

Groaning in aggravation, Kouyou walked over to the gate off the path and sat down, pulling Takanori into his lap. He felt dirty and exhausted.

The guard stomped up to him and threw his arms into the air. "Kid you can't stay here. Just listen, already."

"We're not inside the perimeter," Kouyou said back, licking his dry lips and pulling his brother closer to keep him warm. Takanori hadn't spoken in three days. All he did was cling to Kouyou. It worried the elder. "Just let us rest here. There's no rule in someone being outside the fence, is there?"

The man frowned. "Fine, but don't come asking me for entry again. I ain't gonna give it to ya."

Kouyou simply stared straight ahead, breathing the cold air into his aching chest and holding Takanori tightly.

….

It was raining.

They had been sitting by the fence for almost two days now. The guard would occasionally glance their way, but never moved to speak to them again.

The rain was pouring in torrents over their heads and Kouyou had taken his jacket off, draping it over Takanori's head so he wouldn't catch cold. His own clothes were soaked through and he was shivering almost convulsively and the younger boy's small hands gripped his shirt. Takanori was curled up in a ball under the jacket and Kouyou held him protectively, staring out over the dead field through the sheets of rain that fell around them.

It was then that someone approached them.

"Kouyou?"

Shakily, Kouyou turned his head and looked up. A soldier was standing over them, looking down at him with a worried expression. It was Yuu.

Another ten minutes and they were inside the base, underneath a warm roof and beings given military-issued clothing. Nothing would fit Takanori, so they had to cut off pant legs and use ties to keep the clothing on, but at least it was dry.

Takanori was sleeping on a bed now, thumb in his mouth and body finally allowed to have some rest. Kouyou and Yuu sat at a table nearby.

"You were out there for two days?" Yuu asked, frowning deeply.

"We were walking for six," Kouyou mumbled, pulling his jacket tighter around his body. "Suzuki's men came and killed our parents. We have nowhere to go."

Yuu sighed. "I'm sorry."

Kouyou shook his head. "No, no sorry. I don't need those."

"Then what do you need?" Yuu leaned forward over the table and reached out, gently touching Kouyou's chin to make him look up. "What do you need, Kou? I will try for you, I will."

Kouyou rubbed his temples and stared into Yuu's dark eyes, searching. "I need you to get us out of Japan. There's no way that we can survive here. I won't let Takanori die here, Yuu. I won't let that happen."

Yuu leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath, adjusting the collar of his military uniform. "Kouyou that's practically impossible to do." He seemed hesitant.

The blond nodded. "I know, but it's Takanori's only chance at a good life. I want to take him to the states. He might have a chance at happiness and peace there."

Yuu looked over at Takanori's sleeping form and frowned slightly. "We could die in the attempt. He could be killed trying to get out of the country."

"We'll be killed if we stay here," Kouyou countered. "Suzuki is hunting everyone down one by one. We'll die if we stay. At least if we try there's a chance. There's a chance I can give my brother a safe life without guns and death. I have to fight for that chance, Yuu."

Yuu stared at him for a long time, deep in his own contemplation as he chewed his lower lip and occasionally glanced over at the young boy sleeping on the opposite end of the room. "Come walk with me. I'll have someone watch over Takanori." When he saw Kouyou's worried glance towards his brother, he gave him a reassuring smile. "I can't talk about this here. Someone might be listening. We need to be alone."

Reluctantly, Kouyou agreed and he and Yuu walked to the back of the base behind the barracks, the wet soil from earlier rain permeating the air with a pungent aroma of earth as they stared up at the night sky that glittered with stars along the hazy edge of the pollution in the air.

Kouyou leaned his back against the building. "I…" he trailed off.

Yuu reached forward and pulled the other boy close, holding his back tightly to his chest as he rested his face at the nape of Kouyou's neck. "I'm sorry for this—for everything that happened to you. I wish I had been there—"

Kouyou reached back a hand and buried it in Yuu's hair. "No, don't. They would have killed you too. I need you to be alive, Yuu."

"I need you to be alive, Kou," Yuu murmured. "I'll do whatever I can to get you out of here. I promise."

Kouyou took a deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of being held so close to the other man. "What can we do?"

Yuu's arms tightened around Kouyou's chest. "There's a boat. It transports refugees to America in secret, but it's harder than hell to get to the boat. It doesn't dock and it has to stay off the radar, so it's imperative to know the right people or you'll never find it."

"And who are the right people?" Kouyou ventured, his fingers flexing in Yuu's dark locks.

"There's a man," Yuu whispered against the skin of his neck. "Yutaka Uke. He's a rebel up to the north, hiding out in the middle of the rebellion colony set up to oppose Suzuki. But it's dangerous in there, Kou. There are more of Suzuki's men there than anywhere else, and they take even less pity on people there than here. You might never make it to Uke alive."

Kouyou shifted and leaned his head back on Yuu's shoulder, staring up at the stars. "What if we can make it to this guy? How can he get us out?"

"All I know is he knows where the boat is and he directs people to it, but that's already more than most of the soldiers here know," Yuu replied with a sigh. "You'll have to risk meeting him to find out more."

Kouyou closed his eyes and sighed. "I missed you."

"I'll take you out of here myself," Yuu said firmly. "I'll take you to Yutaka Uke."

"Are you sure?"

"I can't let you go this alone."

They didn't discuss it any further.

….

They were sitting in a small car being driven by a rebel. It was taking them into the rebel encampment that was crawling with not only Suzuki's soldier, but dangerous people of all sorts. Gunfire was a constant, screams echoed in the streets, and it wasn't uncommon to see bodies lining the roads with woeful friends and family members tugging at their arms in a vain attempt to bring them back to life.

After what seemed like hours of fear and impatience, they finally reached a dilapidated old building and pulled slowly to a stop.

"Password is 'Rincheck'," the driver said gruffly. "Be careful of him. He's got a temper."

Kouyou nodded and the three boys slid out of the car. A round of gunfire was heard nearby and Takanori cried out, running over to grab his brother's shirt sleeve.

Kouyou gave him a shaky, reassuring smile and Takanori calmed slightly.

Yuu placed his hand on Kouyou's back and pushed him forward gently to the doorway. They knocked on it heavily and after a few moments the door slid open an inch to reveal a worn out old man peering through.

Kouyou glanced at Yuu before turning back and muttering "Rincheck".

The door slid open all the way and the old man ushered them inside. "Come in. Hurry up, now."

The door was shut quickly being them and the man pointed at a broken looking staircase of cement. "Up there and to the left. Get going."

The trio hesitantly ascended the staircase and made the way down the hall to an ajar door, Yuu held Kouyou back and stepped forward himself, pushing the door open and stepping inside. "Mister Uke?"

There was a dark-haired man sitting in a wooden chair at a table, papers splayed out in front of him in a haphazard mess.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I am Yuu Shiroyama and this is Kouyou and Takanori Takashima," Yuu replied, gesturing towards the two blonds standing nervously behind him. "We were told you could help us."

"What makes you think I want to help you?" Yutaka snapped, standing from his chair and peering over at Takanori, who quivered and hid behind his brother's leg.

"We know there is a boat," Kouyou said bravely, stepping up next to Yuu. "My brother and I need to get off that boat, sir. Our family has been killed and we have nowhere else to go."

Yutaka shrugged. "Plenty of families die every day, kid. I can't give you special treatment when you're no more special than I am."

"Please," Kouyou begged. "My brother is young and he can have no true life here. Everything we had is lost. We've traveled for days to find you. Out only hope is to escape this country or we'll never have a good life. We'll probably end up killed." Takanori whimpered and tightened his grip on Kouyou's leg. The taller pat his head gently in reassurance.

Yutaka pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. "The path to the boat is dangerous. Takes you right through the main war zone. You might not make it through."

"We're willing to take that risk," Kouyou replied with determination.

Yutaka smirked. "Then I'll tell you the way, but tonight you'll stay here. We leave tomorrow."

"You're taking us personally?" Yuu asked, surprised.

"It's the only way I trust to get things done," Yutaka replied. "I take all my refugees."

"Thank you," Kouyou said, bowing. "Thank you so much for helping us."

"Leave the gratitude for if we make it to the boat, kid," Yutaka retorted, gesturing towards the door. "No go get some sleep. You'll need it. The bunks are two doors to the left. You're the only ones here right now so you've got it to yourself. Lucky you."

….

Takanori was fast asleep on a small cot, shaking slightly as he lay in dreamland.

Yuu and Kouyou were both leaning their backs against the wall, hands barely touching.

"Do you think we'll make it?" Kouyou whispered.

Yuu sighed. "I hope so."

"Are you going to go with us?" Kouyou asked. "Onto the boat, I mean."

Yuu frowned. "Kouyou, I can't go with you. I have a war to fight here."

Kouyou leaned over and cupped the side of Yuu's face with his hand, bringing their faces closer together and kissing him gently. "I miss you," he said softly.

Yuu shut his eyes tightly and kissed the blond back, their lips making soft sounds in the quiet of the room. Kouyou quickly got up and straddled the other man, deepening their kiss and running his hands through Yuu's hair.

The sounds of elevated breathing, rustling fabric, and soft kisses permeated the room, but they kept as quiet as they could so as not to wake Takanori.

Kouyou hastily undid the clasp to Yuu's pants and then his own, pushing them down enough to give them room before Yuu was sliding almost painfully into Kouyou's sweat-slicked, flushed body. They moved in rhythm with each other, both breathing heavily and moving their hips in a slow dance that left them sated and tired.

When they were done, they held each other for the longest time, feeling the pounding of each other's hearts and listening as breathing slowed out and became calm again.

They held onto each other for the rest of the night, even as they tried to catch a few restless moments of sleep.

The next morning they were awoken by an impatient looking Yutaka, banging on the door and urging them awake.

"We have to leave now!" he said. "Fighting has picked up in the city. More of Suzuki's men arrived. If we don't leave now we may never have a chance!"

The three boys rushed out the door and hurried after Yutaka, who was running down the stairs and grabbing a hand gun off a table. Yuu hesitantly drew his own gun and they all ran out to a car and got inside.

"We'll only be able to take a car halfway," Yutaka said. "That's as far as I go. After that, you walk to the pier and there will be a small motorboat there. Take it to buoy number 264 and wait there. The boat will be there in two hours from now. We barely have enough time to make it."

The car started and they took off down the roads, Takanori staring out the window in awe at the bleeding people along the side of the street. They were driving towards the gunfire and Kouyou felt increasingly nervous.

Yuu thought back to what Kouyou had said to him last night before they fell asleep.

_Promise me that you will make sure Takanori gets on that boat._

He had promised him and now he felt nervous by his assurance. Who knew what would happen now?

"Repeat to me, all three of you, what buoy are you to wait at?" Yutaka snapped.

"264," the three chorused nervously.

"Good," Yutaka grunted. "Now remember, once you get on your feet, _keep moving_. Don't stop, don't loiter, and don't stop moving. This place is dead center in the fighting, you got me? You pause and you'll get shot or worse."

Takanori started to cry and Kouyou pulled him close, whispering hushed words of comfort.

The car came to a stop and the trio got out, Yutaka poking his head out of the car and pointing to the left. "The pier is that way. Good luck."

The car drove away and the sounds of gunfire and screams became infinitely louder as they looked around and saw soldiers shooting people down from the windows of old buildings.

Then they began to run.

They ran fast and hard, a desperate race to stay alive and not be one of the people the snipers pinned down and eliminated. There was an explosion nearby and the ground shook, causing Takanori to trip and fall to his knees with a loud sob.

Kouyou slid to a stop and turned back, running to his little brother and pulling him up just as a sniper's shot hit the dirt next to them.

"Come on!" Yuu shouted. "Run!"

They were running towards the pier, the water in sight a few hundred feet away, when it happened.

Kouyou gasped and stumbled, stopping in his tracks.

Confused, Yuu turned around and looked just in time to see the steadily growing stain of red in the blonde's chest.

And then Kouyou was falling to the ground, unhearing of Yuu and Takanori's screams and the gunfire blasting off around them. In his last moment, his eyes flicked up to meet Yuu's and then down to the sobbing face of his little brother.

And then he collapsed into the dirt.

Yuu knelt beside him, screaming and shaking him, begging him to please not die, but it was too late.

Kouyou was dead.

And with an anguished heave, Yuu tore Takanori away from his brother's body and picked him up, running away and down the street towards the pier.

Takanori sobbed into his ear and clung to him, shaking all over as they jumped into the motorboat hidden by the morning mist on the pier. They started up the boat and took off into the ocean, the sounds of gunfire, screaming, and explosions becoming faint until they were no more.

They reached the buoy with the large numbers 264 painted on the side and they stopped.

And waited.

And after what seemed like an indefinite amount of time later, a boat came into view and Yuu sighed, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Takanori clung to hum tightly as the boat stopped next to the buoy and a rope ladder was thrown down to them. Holding the small boy, Yuu climbed up the ladder and onto the boat where a young lady began immediately checking them over for wounds.

"Is this all?" she asked. "No one else?"

Takanori began to cry openly and Yuu stroked his hair with a shaky hand. "It's just us."

"Alright, come on then," she said, obviously used to the look of broken people. "Let's get you some food."

And so they left on that boat, Yuu holding Takanori's hand as he thought back to Kouyou's body back in the city and how he would never make it to the new country. All had happened was so quick, so unbelievably fast that they could barely register what was going on.

One moment they were running with Kouyou. The next, they were on a large boat with the blond left behind in the city, never to be seen again.

It all happened too fast, but Yuu knew that nothing could be done now.

All that mattered was that they had made it.

Yuu and Takanori left on that boat.

And they survived.

They survived.


End file.
